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User blog:MrScience12/"The Chum Mystery" - Absorbent Days
This is my submission for RamDarre's short contest. Absorbent Days was created by MrScience12. NOTE: For the actual article, visit this page: The Chum Mystery. Transcript *''begins with a medium shot of the Chum Bucket; camera gradually pans into the dining area and stops at the exit doors of the laboratory; Plankton barges through them; camera cuts to a long shot of the dining area'' *'Plankton:' cuts to a short-shot of Plankton, lying on a dining table Will these things always be empty? table Sanitized, yet no food to dirty it? up I've spent thousands of dollars on all of these tables combined, yet my tables just stand around here without a plate or tray to comfort them. *'Karen:' into dining area Plankton, stop acting like you don't know. *'Plankton:' at Karen with tears in his eyes Know what? *'Karen:' The only reason people don't dine here is because of the and lifts plate of chum fare that is served here. *'Plankton:' from table; angrily Oh, I know! Why does Bikini Bottom have to be so picky?! It's not like chum is going to kill them or something. *'Karen:' Actually... *'Plankton:' walks to back of Chum Bucket Don't say it! Failure after failure after hideous failure, I've never been able to even sell one ounce of chum! back doors All I have is this wide stock of chum to abide as evidence. widen at empty room What?! around This can't be! doors Karen, come quick! *'Karen:' uninterestedly You've only programmed me to go at three miles an hour, dear. Why are you needing me to suddenly speed? *'Plankton:' doors Look for yourself! *'Karen:' What am I looking at? *'Plankton:' Emptiness, Karen. Emptiness, I tell you! *'Karen:' Do I need to call the psychiatrist again? *'Plankton:' You don't get it, do you?! to large, empty room This room used to hold twenty-thousand whole pounds of chum, Karen. around worriedly Where could it have all gone?! *'Karen:' I wouldn't hire a detective if I were you. We've already lost who knows how many thousand dollars worth of stock. *'Plankton:' smiling No need to worry. I've got someone better than a detective. Well...sort of. Better than no one, I guess. evilly; begins dialing phone *''cuts to SpongeBob, inside of the dining area of the Chum Bucket'' *'SpongeBob:' at emptiness; looks puzzled So...why am I looking at emptiness? *'Plankton:' facepalms I guess no one really does come here. to sign It even says "Chum Storage Department"! This used to hold a whoping amount of chum, but now, it's all gone. *'SpongeBob:' So what do you want me to do about it? *'Plankton:' Investigate, my dear lad. onto SpongeBob's head Investigate like you've never investigated before! laughs *'SpongeBob:' face; normal face Can we have a cool name for this investigation. It makes it sound more intriguing. *'Plankton:' self If it helps you get closer to getting me inventory back...thinks Fine. You can call this thing the..."Mystery of the Stolen Chum". *'SpongeBob:' Ooh. interested I wonder how many brain cells it took to... *'Plankton:' Yeah yeah. You have your orders! to door Get out! runs toward door, causing Plankton to slip *''cuts to SpongeBob, inside of his house'' *'SpongeBob:' Hmm. Where to investigate first. around There must be thousands to look at first. snail food out of cabinet; opens up bag Come and get it, Gary! inside bag What is this stuff on the snail food? *'Gary:' into scene; obviously hungry Meow meow. *'SpongeBob:' Hungry, Gary? food into bowl Eat up. Gary approaches, SpongeBob stops Gary Wait! Maybe you could wait a minute to tell me what this is on your food. *'Gary:' confused Meow? *'SpongeBob:' Could this possibly be chum, Gary? Huh? You always were a bottom-feeder. *'Gary:' defensively Meow meow meow! *'SpongeBob:' Another look at the box? at box Slug Products Inc., now with an added pinch of a failed tone fudge. Okay, you're clean, Gary. face Then, who would do this sort of thing? *''cuts to Sandy's treedome, where SpongeBob is about to knock on the door'' *'SpongeBob:' in through glass and sees machine Just as I suspected. on door *'Sandy:' door Oh. Why, hello, SpongeBob! *'SpongeBob:' No time for hellos, Sandy. into treedome I'm here to investigate. at machine A pretty good machine you have here. at exhaust fan Looks like it takes a lot of...fossil fuels. *'Sandy:' Well, actually... *'SpongeBob:' Ah ha! What kind of fuel does this thing take, Sandy?! Does it possibly take a substance called...chum...to fuel such a machine? *'Sandy:' Chum?! What would I want with chum? The only fuel I use is machine door a pure electricity! *'SpongeBob:' Not you either, huh? Who else would do such a thing? *''cuts to Squidward's house, where SpongeBob is clung to the second-story window, looking at Squidward's clarinet'' *'SpongeBob:' I may have been waiting here for three whole minutes, but I have to wait for Squidward to touch that clarinet for me to get a chance. around Ooh. Here he comes! ducks *'Squidward:' into room Da da lee, da da loo, da duh dum. humming Time to express my beautiful music to this wasteland once again. clarinet *'SpongeBob:' into window Wait! clarinet What do you have in this instrument, Squidward? *'Squidward:' In the instrument?! *'SpongeBob:' clarinet apart As in cork! What do you have as the cork? Possibly chum?! at actual cork Oh. nervously I guess you didn't steal any chum, eh, Squidward? turns SpongeBob around; proceeds to kick SpongeBob out of the window *''cuts to SpongeBob, inside of the kitchen of the Krusty Krab'' *'SpongeBob:' It just doesn't make sense. Who could have stolen the chum? *'Mr. Krabs:' into kitchen SpongeBob! Remember you only have ten more minutes for lunch. *'SpongeBob:' places spatula to head Aye, Mr. Krabs. to flip patties with spatula; spatula leaves print on SpongeBob's head; flips patty onto bun Who would want twenty-thousand whole pounds of chum? down at dining table; takes out patty I guess we'll never know. bite out of patty; coughs Yuck! What is that horrible taste?! at patty and sees chum The chum! *'Customers:' unison Chum?! customers run out, screaming *'Mr. Krabs:' out of office, cheering Whoo hoo! Yes! Finally! *'SpongeBob:' Finally? Mr. Krabs. What's going on? *'Mr. Krabs:' The chum, me boy. It's the chum. It was me who stole all of the chum! *'SpongeBob:' What?! But why? *'Mr. Krabs:' As you know, SpongeBob, the Krusty Krab is always full of customers. eyes Too full, I must say. The customers never give me enough space. Why do I need this space, you ask? To roam. Roam for stray money. But with so many customers, searching for money has become pointless. *'SpongeBob:' So, you stole the chum to repel the customers from coming to the Krusty Krab. Therefore, adding to your stray-money-roaming space. arms Well then, case closed. *'Plankton:' offscreen What?! pans to an angry Plankton So when I try to steal the formula, I get kicked and sued. Yet, you can just come into my restaurant and steal everything I got?! to Mr. Krabs You're going to pay for this, Krabs! smirks Literally. *''cuts to Mr. Krabs, behind the register, tied to a chair; Plankton is standing on the edge of the boat'' *'Mr. Krabs:' order ticket One chum patty, SpongeBob. *'SpongeBob:' order ticket One chum patty, coming up. patty onto bun; pours chum onto patty *'Mr. Krabs:' money from customer; hands to Plankton Grr... *'Plankton:' at money I love getting what I want. at Mr. Krabs Now if only I could get the formula... *'Mr. Krabs:' Don't push it! *''ends'' Category:Blog posts Category:Absorbent Days Category:Absorbent Days Shorts Category:Shorts